like sunlight burning at midinight,

making my life something so beaufitul, beautiful.

it's been a while since i've done one of these.

my audition for guys and dolls was today.
it went surprisingly well.
i sang gimmie, gimmie from millie, and my monologue was from millie, as well.

afterwords, anna and i came back home.
we ate some things, then watched alexa chung, and jim sturgess, and miley cyrus, and lady gaga.
talk about a productive afternoon.
then, anna left.
[did i mention, she had been living with me for a week? it was 'pretty rock awesome' if i do say so myself.]

then, i went on a target run and bought a box of soyjoy and a bottle of sprite.
then, i went to kirsten's house, where me, kirsten, brittnee, haley, and kelsey had a very fun evening.
pizza, youtube videos, mean girls, and stories are what make up a laugh fest. haha.
i honestly don't think i've ever laughed that hard in a long time.

i've missed joey like no other.
i'm glad he moved back.
[i just thought i'd let you know that.]

that's basically all, kiddos.
i'm pretty exhausted.
friends make me laugh too much, which makes me sleepy. haha.

you're not sorry anymore.

so, recently, and by 'recently', i mean about half an hour ago, i recieved a twitter update from david archuleta, proceeded to the page on which the blog was written on, and read this.

'i think it made me appreciate what i've been doing even more, and made me realize the most important thing isn't blasting away at every high note perfectly. there's a lot more to music and performing than that, and i need to remember that there's a connection and feeling in music that doesn't come by hitting each note technically perfect. i guess i just needed to lose my voice to remember that, haha.'

this is so amazing.
this is the truest thing i have heard all day.
performing is not all about being perfect.
sure, it's an amazing feeling, knowing that you sang that song perfectly, or had a perfect show that night.
but, what's behind the words that you're singing is the most important things about performing.
i'm guilty of taking performing for granted, and i need to stop doing that.
being able to hve the courage to perform is a gift.
it's a gift that lots of people have, and do take for granted.

so, that's my little shtick for this evening.
carry on with whatever it was that you were doing before you read this. =)

i'm free to be me.

i haven't done this in a while.
and, nothing that exciting has happened.
except for the fact that...

demi, david, and jordan were amazing;
i met jordan pruitt;
i'm best friends with mike manning, demi lovato's lead guitarist;
i learned how to play love song on the piano;
i miss my best friend so much that it makes me want to cry;
i passed out;
i almost got charged by bulls;
i crawled underneath electric fences;
my cousins came and visited;
i wrote part of a song;
i bought tickets to go see francesca battistelli;
i bought a new backpack and lunchbox;
i finished a really rad collage;
and, i don't know what's going on in my life and i'm about to explode because i'm so confused.

let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start.

david archuleta is the cutest guy in the whole world.

i love him so so so so much.

[demi and jordan were pretty amazing too.]


we're best friends.

actually, mike manning and i are best friends.
he told me and my friends to meet him, and the rest of the band, and demi, outside at the busses, but the stupid security guards told us that we had to leave.
but, we did see a guy who looked like david, but i don't think it was him.

[and love song, so much fun to play. ;)]


i miss anna so much.
i miss anna so much.
i miss anna so much.
i miss anna so much.
i miss anna so much.
i miss anna so much.
i miss anna so much.
i miss anna so much.
i miss anna so much.
i miss anna so much.
i miss anna so much.
i miss anna so much.
i miss anna so much.
i miss anna so much.
i miss anna so much.
i miss anna so much.
i miss anna so much.
i miss her more than anyone.

so, while we were staying in brevard, hampton, jaynelll, and i decided that we wanted to go to the creek.
but, to get there, we had to go through the pastures.
the pastures that hold the horses, the cows, the goats, and the BULLS.
we had to crawl underneath the electric fences without being shocked to death, or rammed to death.
it was pretty scary.

the next part, not very exciting.
my cousins came.
i wrote a song.

francesca battistell!
i'm SO SO SO SO excited!


i love this so much.

and my collage is the best.
the end.

eyes wide shut unopened.

two freaking days left.

i'm currently packing for the most epic roadtrip ever.
no, this isn't even going to be epic.
this is going to be epic on crack.
epic times like a bajillion.

so, new movie coming out.
in september.
called the september issue.
about the making of vogue.
i simply cannot wait.

gimmie gimmie, that thing called love.
i honestly, cannot listen to millie without wanting to cry.
it was so phenominal.
i want to do it again, so badly.
if we do it at main street, i don't know what i would do if someone else was millie.
i am thoroughly modern millie.
millie dillmount is now a part of me.
her blood runs through my veins.
that part is my baby.
my baby that i would die if someone else got her.

everything today is thoroughly modern.

millie is over, and i've been crying so hard.
it was only one show, but it was deftinately my absolute favorite.
i want to do more shows so badly.
i miss emma, and katie, and naomi more than anyone in the world right now.
especially nomi. she's going back to hawaii soon. :(

i hate being left out.
i hate it more than anything in the world.
i've been there for you through everything.
i was there for you when you had friendship problems with others, but i guess you were just taking all of that for granted.
you kept saying that you had another part of my birthday present to give me.
well, guess what? it's more than a month after, and i still don't have it.
you've made no attempt to give it to me, either.
i've supported you in everything you've done.
i've seen you in every show you've been in.
you've seen me in one, only because i asked, and asked you to come.
well, guess what? i've been in three other shows that you haven't been in, and you haven't been to a single one.
i've called, texted, called, facebooked, everything i could do to get your attention, and you never answer me.
you used to say that i was your best friend, now, you donl't even call me you're friend.
you've found other friends.
i don't care about that.
i've found other friends, too.
i just wish that you would actually acknowledge the fact that i even exist.
because, right now, you really aren't.
and that hurts so much more than you could ever know.
you're going to give some excuse about why you never called, or answered me texts, or came to my shows, and i don't want to hear it.
i've gotten too many of those from you.

seems growing up didn't take long.

or maybe it did.

we were never really good friends.
i never knew you that well.
i though you were an okay kind of person.
but now, i think you're just a huge jerk.
don't treat my friends badly.
don't hurt their feelings.
they didn't do anything to you.
they made little jokes about stupid things, which is nothing to get upset over.
if you're going to flip over stupid things, you don't deserve them as friends.

on another note,
millie camp tomorrow.
off book tomorrow.
so, not ready.

anna is back in town.
i've missed her like no other.

tyra is talking about things that make you happy on antm.
this got me thinking.
i'll list a few of mine.

things that make me happy.
musical theatre.
harry potter.
music.
books.
sleep.
vintage cothing.
converse.
the color green.
nail polish.
soyjoy.
target runs.
friends.
family.
road trips.
starbucks.
the corner perk.
playing the piano.
shopping.
katy perry.
sara bareilles.
boy bands.
michael jackson.
cartoons.
tom felton.
shoes.

i tell everyone we are through,

'cause i'm so much better without you.

i hate it when my friends get hurt.
it makes me so upset.
and, i hate the fact that i can't do anything about it.
i feel so helpless.

i'm on a music hype.
i'm making attempts to write my own songs, but it's not working.
at all.





i don't understand how people can do things like this.
even drinking, i find disgusting.
have fun destroying your life.
i guess i won't be seeing you around soon.







both have similar meanings.
i'm so sick of this island.
i want to leave so badly, but i don't want to leave my friends.
new york, broadway, here i come.